TV Time

I’ll be the first to admit that TV is a very, very important part of my life. NBC Thursday Night Comedies? Yes, please. MTV/VH1 guilty pleasures? The more the merrier. Food Network? ALWAYS. TopChef? Duh. The list goes on and on and on. (Nickelodeon, ok, but I draw the line at Disney Channel).

Understand my horror when I saw the TV in my host family’s house for the first time. It is small (likely around 25 inches diagonal). It is probably about as old as I am (seriously). And it is the only one in the house. Ohhh the humanity! This seems to be about the standard in France. I’ve only been in a select number of homes, but the French TV does not seem to be the home-theater, super deluxe, surround sound, high definition wall ornament like its American brother. They have those in the electronics stores, but I don’t think the French have noticed.

I turned it on. What a relief, its color (small victories, people). And… what’s this? There are a lot of channels. Maybe this won’t be so bad. Lets channel surf!

The low numbers are mostly network channels. America has ABC, NBC, CBS, and FOX. France has France 1, France 2, all the way up to France 6. The French are remarkably creative, aren’t they? The networks are followed by a whole host of French channels. Quite a few are dedicated to fashion and the rest span the gamut of French interests. Translation: I’m not interested. There is EuroSport (channel 72) that covered many an Olympic biathlon (there was always a biathlon on) but is now reserved for football (soccer, that is) and rugby. Then the European cable news stations, all in French, and, CNN (in English). Things are looking up.

Then, I spotted a gem among more French channels. CusineTV -- France’s Food Network. Cheesy hosts + mediocre recipes = delicious TV. And it is all in French. After pulling myself away from the wonders of French cooking shows and flipping through no less then 15 channels dedicated to soccer, I found them: Nickeloden, Disney Channel, MTV’s galore, and E!, among other American cable channels. All the same shows. All dubbed in France. All fantastic.

Here is something interesting: French shows start at the strangest times. In America, our programming starts on the hour or half-hour, no questions asked. Logical. Here, programs start whenever the mood strikes them. For example, a lot of prime time programming starts at 20h40 (8:40PM) or 20h35 (8:35PM) or 19h55 (7:55PM). And this changes from channel to channel and night to night. The good news is that commercials are severely limited. There are no commercials during the news. During half-hour shows, no commercials. During hour-long shows, there is one commercial about halfway through. I could get used to this.

So what is there to watch in France? My TV time during the day is severely limited, but it seems the channels are littered with soap operas, unimportant news shows, and reruns. I have yet to see a French talk show à la Regis&Kelly/Ellen/Oprah (you can imagine my disappointment). The primary news program is broadcast on France 1 at 1PM and 8PM.

During prime time, there are a few of options: a documentary or two on anything you can imagine as it relates to Europe, France, or Paris; a French TV show (there are relatively few of these), but none of them seem to be very popular (or good if you ask me); a soccer game; a movie (Borat was on earlier this week); or American TV shows – my salvation.

Want to watch a little CSI? 'Les Experts' is on Sunday nights. 'Dr House' is on Tuesday nights. Law&Order? 'New York police judiciaire' is on randomly through the week. My favorite: 'New York unité spéciale' (Law&Order: SVU) on Saturday evenings. These are just a few of many. There are a couple channels that dedicate the majority of their programming to American TV. It’s a fine thing.

In fact, I found an old TopChef episode (dubbed in French) a couple weeks back. I kept a lookout for said program while searching through the TV guide. You’ll never guess what I found. 'Top chef'. French contestants, judges, and everything. The whole kit and caboodle. It is on Monday nights for… two and a half hours. The French don’t kid around, do they?

So that is French TV. I’d have to say that I’m pretty happy with it. I miss my beloved shows at home*, but there are some definite saving qualities here. Now, if you’ll excuse me, 'Weeds' comes on soon. It’s the one where Nancy finds the tunnel that leads to Mexico under her maternity clothing store. I bet I’ll learn a bunch of new words related to drugs and human trafficking. I better take my dictionary.

*I orignially intended on watching my shows via websites like Hulu. That doesn't work here. Sites like Hulu (and even NBC.com) only boradcast in America. They know I'm in France. Big brother is watching (no really, Big Brother: Season 12 on CBS starts this summer).

**Author's note: About 4 hours after I originally published this post, I learned something. Apparently, there is a TV tax in France. When you buy a TV, you pay a tax on the sale. However, there is also an annual tax to have a TV in your house. This may explain the relatively few TV's in French homes. Or maybe they just don't like TV.